


Facing Sanity

by Jules1398



Category: Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Genre: M/M, Mental Health Issues, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Post-Canon, Post-Lord of the Flies, Recovery, Years Later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 03:45:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3342401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jules1398/pseuds/Jules1398
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been years since the rescue and, as part of the recovery process, Jack has to face up to those he wronged. Even Ralph. Especially Ralph.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Facing Sanity

**Author's Note:**

> I just really wanted to write some jalph tbh.  
> crackandcanonships.tumblr.com

Life wasn't, by any measure, easy after the island. It should have been, but it wasn't. The war had ended during their months on the island, as the rivaling sides had decided to calm down before they caused full scale destruction of the planet. That definitely should have made things earlier, as times of war were often filled with anger and fear.

The thing was, even after he got home, Jack Merridew was still full of anger and fear. He was angry about everything he had done. He had killed Simon, one of his best friends and fellow choristers. Jack was also terrified of himself. He saw what he'd become on the island and her never, ever wanted to be like that again.

His parents were quite busy people. Jack was surprised that Mr. and Mrs. Merridew had even noticed he was gone during his months spent on that deserted island. His father was some sort of big, wealthy businessman. Jack never really knew exactly what kind of business he worked for. All he knew was that he was expected to somehow take the reigns from him upon his death. Mrs. Jane Merridew was a lawyer and, notably, not Jack's mother. Jack's mum had passed away while giving birth to him and had been the only one of his father's wives to last more than five years. Jack supposed that this was the reason his father ignored him. The poor old man couldn't see that shock of red hair without thinking about everything that was and everything that could have been.

Yet, even Mr. and Mrs. Merridew had eventually noticed that something was up with Jack since he had returned from that horrible island. Maybe it was because he was more withdrawn. He didn't socialize more than what was necessary for his schooling, he hadn't sung a note since the night that Simon had died, and he had abandoned his old friends, despite the fact that most of them still went to school together. Jack especially didn't talk to Roger, who hadn't changed at all since he left the island and, not soon after his return, had been imprisoned for some terrible crime that Jack had never bothered to learn the details of.

Still, it had taken them three entire years to notice the turmoil happening within the confinement of Jack Merridew's head. They hadn't thought to take him to a doctor until he was sixteen. Maybe his father was ashamed of his only child being mentally disturbed. Maybe he truly hadn't noticed how broken his son actually was. Either way, they finally took him to a doctor, where he was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Most people would be distressed to find out they had a mental illness, but Jack Merridew was actually quite relieved. It was hard for him, being only a teenage boy, to carry think that everything that happened on that cursed island was his fault and that that he truly was that murderous savage from all that time ago.

The therapy helped him realize that he was just a normal person. Mental illness was actually quite common, and sometimes it takes extreme circumstances for one to finally see that they are sick.

The therapy also helped him learn to be more respectful and understanding of others. His doctor had recommended that he reconcile with those he had wronged in order to clear his conscious. He'd talked to many people from back on the island since. He'd even spoken to Piggy's auntie, who was actually a pretty nice woman for having raised such an annoying prick. (Jack often had to remind himself often that he shouldn't speak ill of the dead).

But here he stood outside a small white house in America, ready to face the last person he needed to talk to. The person he had regretted hurting the most. It was the one visit that he absolutely dreaded, yet also yearned for. It was time to talk to Ralph.

Jack stepped onto the small, oak porch. It let out a soft creaking sound that made him wince. He didn't want them to answer the door until he was emotionally prepared to knock. Luckily, nobody opened the door.

He had to have stood on that porch ten minutes, his red hair blowing softly in the wind. He needed to get it cut soon. God forbid it ever reach what he called "island length." Jack wouldn't be able to handle looking in the mirror and seeing that.

He finally drew in a deep breath and rapped on the door lightly, half hoping that his knocks wouldn't be heard so that he could convince himself that nobody was home so he could leave.

The door swung open to reveal a short woman with long blond hair braided over her shoulder. Her emerald green eyes twinkled a little as her lips spread into a soft smile.

"I was starting to think you were going to stand out there forever." Jack's stomach dropped at the sound of her English accent. This was certainly the correct house and now there would be no going back.

"So, are you here to see Amie?" the woman asked. Jack was slightly relieved, but also a bit concerned. He didn't know of any "Amie" and that might mean that he was, in fact, at the wrong address. "You don't have to be shy. She's not as intimidating as she looks."

"Does Ralph live here?" Jack blurted out, unable to contain his nervous anticipation.

Her smile grew bigger. "Yeah, he does. I'll go grab him. It's nice to see another boy from our side of the pond. Did you know Ralph from school back before he moved in with me?" asked Ralph's mum.

Jack shrugged and tried not to appear as nervous as he was. "Something of the like."

She smiled again and disappeared up the wooden staircase. Jack's heart thudded in his chest. He wasn't ready. He couldn't do this. He should have waited.

"Jack?!" asked a familiar voice from a few feet away alarmingly. The redheaded boy peeked up from where he was glancing at his sweaty hands to see those sapphire eyes that appeared in so many of his dreams. He saw alarm in those blue eyes, as well as fear and a bit of confusion.

"Yeah," Jack replied as he suddenly forgot all the words he had planned to say upon meeting up with Ralph. He knew that the meeting was going to be hard but, after seeing that Ralph was still afraid of him, it seemed impossible. While Ralph was heavily featured in Jack's dreams, Jack was probably the one to haunt Ralph's nightmares. Heaven knows he was the one to haunt his own.

Ralph crossed his arms over his chest and grimaced. "Well, you came here to say something, so you best say it."

"I love you." No. Those were definitely not the words that Jack had wanted to come out of his mouth.

Jack watched as Ralph's jaw dropped and those beautiful sapphire eyes widened in surprise.

Ralph's face slowly turned into an expression of anger. "You can't do that. This is completely and utterly unacceptable."

Jack's heart dropped to his stomach. His mouth's betrayal had ruined everything. Ralph would never accept his apology now.

"You tried to kill me!" Ralph continued, stating a fact that Jack was well aware of. One that had haunted him for years. "You can't just do that and then show up a few years later saying that you've loved me back all along and that everything was a mistake."

Ralph had loved him. Jack had ruined everything over a stupid island. They could've both been chief, but he had gone too insane over the concept of power that everything they could have had was broken.

Jack shuffled his feet softly. "I'm sorry."

"It's too late for that, Jack!" the blond yelled. "Two innocent boys died because of your stupid tribe!"

"I never wanted that to happen. We didn't know it was Simon and Roger was the one to kill Piggy, but I agree. Ultimately, everything was my fault. I shouldn't have let that happen" Jack's walls were tearing down. He fought hard to keep from breaking down into tears in front of Ralph.

"But it did! Think of how Simon's mum and dad feel. Think about Piggy's auntie!"

"I do!" Jack finally yelled in response. He softened his voice until it was almost a whisper. "I think of them every day. I've spoken to them about it. I've spoken to almost everybody, actually. The only thing I regret more than their deaths is hurting you."

Ralph's expression visibly softened. "Then, why, Jack? Why'd you do it?"

Jack couldn't think of a good enough answer. "I suppose it's partially because I'm mentally ill. Maybe part of it was my need to prove myself to you. It's really inexcusable."

"I suppose it's over now," Ralph conceded, all traces of anger leaving him.

"It'll never be over, Ralph. Not for me," Jack admitted as he ran a hand through his soft red curls. "I see them every time I close my eyes. I'm terrified that I'll turn into that again."

"You're different now, Jack. I can tell." Ralph took a few steps forward and rested a soft hand on his shoulder.

They were close now, and Jack's gray-blue eyes flickered down to the floor. "How can you possibly know if that's true?"

"Because, Jack, you care about others now." Ralph tilted up his head so their blue eyes met and their faces were only inches apart. "You care about me."

"Do I?" Jack smirked, cracking under the tension.

"Well, you flew all the way out here for me," the blond pointed out.

Jack smiled. "And I'd do it again. I was nervous but, this, this is worth it."

Their eyes closed as their lips met in a sugary sweet kiss.

Sure, the past had been horrible, but that's what it was. The past.


End file.
